Something a Little Different...

May Fly

Dragonfly in body, butterfly in spirit

Delicate veined wings of sea glass

A thread-like tail that curves in the breeze

In groups, you cover porches, windows and eaves

A loosely knitted sweater

Alerting fisherman that it's time to leave

In the north-country, your arrival is usually May 

Today it is July and surprise!

You are alone on my window

A short dainty life only minutes, sometimes a day

I watch closely and can't help but feel grace 

You are the fleeting nature of life amplified

Momentarily I am distracted, when I glance again 

You are gone, blown away without a trace

Kristin D. Sadler

Breathe Deep & Absorb Fatty Vitamin C

Throughout the process of WAITING...waiting to get into the doctor, waiting for test results, waiting to feel better, and waiting to learn about and sift through the massive industry of vitamin supplementation, there are a few basic ways to start feeling better right away.

Let's say you're nearly bed-ridden with fatigue (or you actually are) and don't have a shred of energy to get on an exercise bike or take a walk (been there), the simplest way to boost your energy and mood is through breathing. Yep. Breathing. Something we do involuntarily and couldn't survive without, yet most of us go through our entire day holding our breath and taking in short snippets of air. You just took a deep breath, didn't you? But -- was it an OPTIMAL deep breath? 

Did your belly region expand from your pelvis to your neck and did you blow it out just as slowly? Probably not. Try it. Count to five while you breathe in through your nose ("Nasal breathing, as opposed to mouth breathing,  increases circulation, blood oxygen and carbon dioxide levels, slows the breathing rate and improves overall lung volumes " Swift, Campbell, McKown  1988 Oronasal obstruction, lung volumes, and arterial oxygenation. Lancet 1, 73-75)  and five to breathe out. Feel a bit light headed? That means you need to do this a few times. 

If you're in your car, in your kitchen, in the shower or if you can just sit still for a couple of minutes, do this exercise. You might find you have a clenched hand that opens or your shoulders that are always up by your ears lower.

When I was bed ridden with back spasms and nerve pain a few years ago, I couldn't walk let alone exercise. I had many years of yoga under my belt so I knew the power of breath. At times it would release the spasms and warm or cool my tense, pain-filled body. If you breathe out through your nose like you're fogging a mirror that will keep the warmth in your body. If you exhale through your mouth it may cool you and release extra CO2, but there's little evidence to determine whether exhaling is better through the nose or mouth. 

Try to do this a few times a day, and if you do it at bedtime, you might find you doze off before you're done with a few. As you become more in-tune with your breathing, you can up the count and you may feel it in your extremities as serenity spreads throughout your body. 

Once you're comfortable with breathing, and if you're able, hang your head upside down to get a fresh supply of blood to your brain, face, sinuses, and of course, breathe. Yes, blood courses through your head no matter what, but it's quite a feeling when a rush of it enters your cranium. Again, you'll probably feel dizzy so best to start by doing it laying on a bed or sofa with your head hanging off. Come up slowly and be still for a moment. If you can do it a few times in a row, you'll start to feel less dizzy and truly refreshed. If you're nose is stuffy or your ears are congested usually they'll clear up, even if it's just for a few hours. Think of it as a power-wash for your head. As fresh blood rushes to the area, old blood is pushed out by fresh cells and oxygen.  

Once you've gotten used to this, again, if you're able, try bending over at the waist and just stay there for a count of 20-30, breathe and come up very slowly, head coming up last. Repeat two more times. It's okay to rest your hands on your thighs or shins or use the edge of a table for support. We all have pretty tight hamstrings so the added bonus to this move is that they may stretch out a little. If you're able, let your arms hang loose and shake them out or cross them and let them hang. The main goal is to get the blood moving, refresh your mind and get your  "glow" on. And remember -- keep breathing deeply in the process. 

I know this all seems simplistic but I promise you, it works to beef up your long-lost friend ENERGY and find your missing cousin CIRCULATION.  

I know in the last bog, I mentioned talking about a few supplements to boost your system, but I've decided to touch on only one today. Liposomal Vitamin C. If there is nothing else in the universe that you add to your daily routine, it is this (Vitamin D3 is close behind -- but we'll get to that).

According to the experts (there are so many published research findings, I won't reference them here, but feel free to do your own search on the Internet) and every doctor I've been to, the value and benefits of added Vitamin C outweigh the addition of any other nutrient. If you can only afford or want to start with one -- this is it. 

Why Liposomal? It has an added "fat" so that our cells will absorb it readily versus peeing it all away. Our cells need a little fat to absorb nutrients. I'm not talking bacon -- I'm talking olive oil, safflower or sunflower oils. The one that I take has sunflower lecithin. Some have soy lecithin. Not my first choice as I'm soy intolerant, so as always, read the label. 

The benefits of Vitamin C: Boosts the immune system (and greatly helps those with immune deficiency), helps with inflammation, improves cardiovascular health and lowers risk of stroke, increases eye and skin health, and new findings show it may assist in controlling blood sugar. Best of all, it can help stave off cancer or in high doses (IV), kill cancer cells.

It is hard to get enough Vitamin C from our diet, even if we eat the recommended nine servings of fruit and veggies per day, our modern-day produce is severely lacking in nutrients, so supplementation is the a great way to ensure you're getting enough. 

I don't want to be liable for dosing recommendations, so I will share with you that I take a minimum of 1000 mg of Liposomal C per day. Due to my wonky immune system, I usually take more, but that is based on my needs and my doctor's recommendations. 

I have been receiving intravenous vitamin C since 2006 and will probably have to continue for the rest of my life due to my immune deficiencies. I consider it a gift that I have access to them and feel that it is the least I can do for my body to stay functional and minimize inflammation and free-radical damage. 


"If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health." Hippocrates

Peeling Back Your Health Onion

As mentioned previously, I was a lifetime believer in a combination of natural and modern medical care, and as I entered my mid-twenties, began natural treatment and supplementation for IBS, fatigue and an overgrowth of yeast (Candida). All the regular doctor could tell me was that I had IBS and had to learn to deal with it by lowering my stress and take three different prescriptions as needed.

By my mid-thirties, after years of fighting the aforementioned, along with adult acne, chronic joint pain, major female menses issues, constant sweating, mouth sores, sudden food allergies, and even more extreme exhaustion, I went to see an holistic doctor near my home in Florida.

She suggested a saliva test to measure my hormones over a 24-hour period. What a concept! Not blood work that only gives you a reading at that very moment, but a time-lapsed measure of what was happening throughout the day in my body. Our hormones fluctuate and should be at different levels at different times. For example, cortisol should be higher in the morning and early afternoon, lowering later in the day and evening, and melatonin should rise in the evening. 

The saliva test measured my estrogen levels (estrone, estradiol, estriol), progesterone (PG and 17-OH) DHEA, testosterone, cortisol, melatonin, androstenedione and thyroid. These tests are evaluated by more and more labs, but I have used ZRT Laboratory, Access Medical Laboratories, Diagnos-Techs, Inc., and Pharmasan Labs. Many of these can be ordered yourself and once evaluated, they are sent back to you with thorough explanations of findings and in some cases, recommendations of supplementation or a visit to your doctor for further testing. They cost anywhere from $99-$250.

As suspected, my hormones were a mess, mainly my cortisol. Diagnosis: Major Adrenal Fatigue. It appeared my adrenal glands were barely working. I started supplementation with thyroid and adrenal glandulars,  stopped synthetic birth control (if only I had known then what I know now -- UGH!) and started sub lingual bio-identical hormones, mainly progesterone, to bring my estrogen and testosterone down to normal levels. I started feeling better, but it still wasn't enough.

After a few years of taking supplements and IV Vitamin C, I just couldn't get over the threshold to having normal energy and I began reacting to nearly everything I ate with a rash, swollen lips and mouth sores. I was hitting rock-bottom emotionally and physically. My then practitioner (the second one since the first retired), whom I adored and respected greatly, referred me to a clinic with more extensive alternative health solutions. 

Turns out, after meeting with the first doctor at the new place, I was diagnosed with twenty-three illnesses, five of them "permanent," which means they live dormant in my cells until I am weakened by stress or an acute illness, then they awaken and send my body reeling. I also had a parasite and digestive issues. He couldn't believe I was functioning at all, let alone working a full-time job, running a side business, exercising daily and managing two households. Looking back now, it's by the grace of God that I was referred there and got in right away. It would turn out to save my life as I knew it a few months down the road.

So, how do you get started? My recommendation, based on my experience, is to start by being your own health detective and order a saliva test kit. You just spit into a vial four times in a day and send it off. Tip: If you have a hard time making saliva, chew some paraffin wax or smell a lemon. 

Once you do your saliva test, if you can find an holistic practitioner, take it to him or her and add a blood test that includes Vitamin D 25-Hydroxy Total, OHD3 and OHD2, MTHFR, CRP, T3, T4 plus Thyroglobulin Anitbodies, Thyroid Peroxidase Antibodies, T3 Reverse, a full CBC, Ferritin (iron), homocysteine (the ones in bold will be featured in this blog soon), and of course, the usual suspects.

Finding an holistic/alternative practitioner is difficult. They don't advertise because of public scrutiny and FDA pressure. I have found ARNPs, Chiropractors, and several MDs who practice holistically, usually mixing techniques with western or modern medicine, tucked away in every city I've lived. Start asking around - its how I found every one of mine. I did not find them on-line. The risk in not using your network to find a reputable person is that you'll end up at a quack looking to make a buck. They may try to sell you a ridiculous amount of supplements without explanation or get you to jump on the multi-level marketing band wagon. These "practitioners" give alternative health a bad name.

When I was at my worst, I was on about thirty supplements and herbals several times per day, but it was for a matter of weeks until the illnesses left my body. I have been on many supps for very thorough and targeted results, and continue to take those that are needed for maintenance, and they fluctuate with my body's needs. When it comes to supplements, ask a lot of questions as to what they do and why, ask about drug interactions if you're on prescriptions, ask about a return policy if you can't tolerate something and Use Your Instincts.

Throughout the years of peeling back the layers of my health onion and becoming a science detective, I was able to heal one step at a time, and with each discovery, I have fortified my system to handle whatever has been thrown at me. 

Now, after nearly ten years of consistent holistic treatments (and a lifetime of dabbling), I feel armed with the best solutions to staying healthy and know that I am in control of how I feel. Out of all the suffering has come what I consider to be a few miracles (combined with centuries of science) and I am certain the knowledge I've acquired is my gift to share with you.

Up Next: Some simple things you can do today without tests to start feeling better while you wait for your saliva results.

A New Twist -- Please Read for the Health of It

I have decided to revamp the focus of my blog and share with you what I get asked about every single day: my health. My latest major health issue kept me from the thing I love the most: writing! I haven't written on this blog since December, as I could barely concentrate long enough to work and thought I was getting dementia or having mini-strokes. No joke.

Many women I encounter, in my age group especially (mid-forties), are fighting constant exhaustion to the point of barely getting through each day. Frustration ensues because they can't put their finger on why and doctors tell them after test upon test, that their blood work is fine, "try anti-depressants." Many of these women have kept how they're feeling to themselves so as not to be a "failure" or classified as weak, or worse, crazy. Does this sound familiar? 

If you want resources to find answers and are willing to be open-minded, think outside the box and start feeling better, please read on.

As a child, I was always ill with some rare virus or bacteria and regular, "western" medicine rarely seemed to help. Thanks to forward-thinking parents, who got me started with Chiropractic and Kinesiology at an early age, I began being treated with more holistic options with better results. Even though I dabbled in natural remedies and used alternative methods of diagnoses,  80% of my health care still followed regular medical treatments and by my mid-twenties, I had endured at least ten surgeries (several female-organ related) and had fought through Rhys Syndrome, Scarlett Fever, Viral Meningitis, Mono, Strep, and was diagnosed at twenty-five with osteoarthritis. 

You might be thinking, "I've been perfectly healthy all my life, my health changes have come on recently, it can't be that bad," and you've chalked it up to ageing. I'm here to tell you, mid-forties and fifties should not feel like "ageing."  We should not feel like we're losing our minds on a daily basis and fall into bed at night bone-weary, dreading doing it all over again tomorrow. There is a reason and a solution, though there is no magic bullet as so many products on the market try to get you to believe. Each of us responds to treatments differently, so there is a try-and-try-again method requiring patience and faith, just as in regular medicine, though I believe with permanent results. 

Since 2006, I have been on a constant journey of health issues that have been life-altering, miraculous and astounding. As I have progressed through the stages of treatment, I have learned many variations of holistic, alternative, and eastern medicine, and what some call "The New Paradigm." I have also discovered new medicine and what most people consider "hocus pocus" is truly original medicine, mostly from thousands of years ago.

If we listen closely to our bodies, trust our instincts (its why we have them), and are willing to do the work it takes to feel better, the reward is not just feeling better every day, it could mean not getting cancer or falling gravely ill to an auto-immune disease or worse, early death. 

I know the above statement sounds extreme, but I am certain, if I had not been blessed to find the right practitioner at the right time, and been totally open to anything that might help me feel better, I would be, without a doubt, in a wheelchair with cognitive impairment. 

There is so much to share I will be blogging regularly to take you on my journey from 2006 to the present with the hope that I can help at least ONE person not have to suffer with unexplained or misdiagnosed pain and illness. If my story guides one of you off the merry-go-round of feeling that you are losing your mind and empowers you to dig deeper, take charge of your well-being and affect change, then what I have endured and discovered has not been in vain.  

I thought about changing the name of my blog, but it is still extremely fitting: I am still Living in the Moment with deep gratitude that I am sitting here writing once again.

What a year it has been! I remember this day last year like it was yesterday. In fact, it feels like maybe three months ago! December 23rd was a Monday, there was a little snow on the ground and the sun was shining as I did a few last minute errands around Lake St. Louis. I distinctly remember a phone conversation with Allan that afternoon in the Target parking lot. It left my heart skipping and also left me a little sad. He would be spending Christmas alone again, as he had so many before. Once again, my heart overflowed with gratitude because I was surrounded by an abundance of love and companionship. It was my first Christmas without Ken in nine years and though my heart was a little confused, I had friends and family making sure I felt joy and knew I was loved every day.

I'll never forget sitting in my living room a few weeks before Christmas, fire crackling in the fireplace, a periwinkle sky filling the floor-to-ceiling windows as the sun set, and feeling a wave of contentment. I missed Ken terribly, but I had come to realize that God had a plan, and my husband was at peace, maybe for the first time ever. I still had Barney, I had my LSL family, and in the midst of the turmoil that had been raging inside of me for seven months, I finally had a sliver of my own peace.

I had no idea what was in store for me. I had my mind set on living in LSL for at least another year, trying to find myself as a single person again; living life on my terms. I had just begun to look forward to the unknown instead of dreading it, when out of the blue came the phone call that changed my world. As Allan and I renewed our friendship, it became clear that we were meant to be together, but we didn't know how and I didn't know if the timing was right. I searched my soul, I asked Ken, I asked God, and not once did I hear or feel a "no." I decided the gift of love was not something to ignore and it's not something that comes around time and time again. 

So, here I am, spending my ninth Christmas in the Florida sunshine. I'll be sharing it with my sister and her husband (for the first time in 10 years), my niece and nephew, and of course, Allan, who will be surrounded by more love than he's used to (he might long for those "alone" holidays after this one -- LOL)!

I have to admit, I've had some blue moments as the season has unfolded. I've felt Ken around quite strongly a couple of times, and of course, I miss Barney more than words can say. I still well up when I let myself stop and think about them . Barney was my warm fuzzy New Year's present in 2003, and was an endless font of happiness for 10 Christmases. This year, as Barney was preparing to leave this world, along came another New Year's blessing -- Allan. We saw each other for the first time in eight months on New Year's Day and our love unfolded.

Now, as 2014 races to a close, I remind myself to dig deep, find a quiet place to reflect and try not to take time for granted. Christmas feels different since I've experienced death at such close range. There is a depth of meaning that I could never have had otherwise. I am reminded of the beauty in this world when I see the neighborhood peacocks or the sunset, when I look back on how far I've come emotionally and physically in the last few years, and especially when I feel so much love all around me.

May you hold peace, love and abundant joy this Christmas, and may you be blessed with your own wonderful surprise this New Year... God Bless. 

Hi All! Let me start out by apologizing for not writing in such a long time. I am honored and humbled that so many of you have asked me why I quit writing. It inspires me when you exclaim how much you enjoy my blog. Thank you!!

There is not any particular reason I haven't written -- I can only address the question by admitting that most days, by the time I get a chance to blog, I'm whooped and the creative juices have gone to bed for the night!

I have been writing in my journal (which is more like a prayer log these days) and working on paying projects, along with many other "jobs." I have recently become a notary so that I can marry people on the beach. I know there is a tremendous need for officiants here in Florida and being a notary is like being a Justice of the Peace. I think it will be a fun and fulfilling experience. What a gift to bear witness to such a happy occasion!

My summer has been a series of ups-and-downs, with mostly positive outcomes (no, I still don't have a new computer...might need to seek counseling for that affliction!). I won't bore you with the details of the ups and downs, but for a few days, I've been pondering the hourly fluctuation of good news/bad news/good news on a daily basis that never seems to end. It has just occurred to me that this IS the definition of life. It is never going to be ALL good, just as it's never ALL bad. Seems like a cliche' and you're probably thinking, Yeah...so?

When we're young I think we are under the impression (or we're taught) that the purpose of life is to make sure nothing bad happens. If we do all the right things -- play by the rules, take care of our health, have loving relationships and do unto others, we will be rewarded with a long, healthy, fairly stress-free life. 

For most people, it's a wonderful way to get through the first forty years (or so) and I'm sure it's by design that we live with the above goals for so long. The truth is, no matter how GOOD we are, life happens all around us. Trials do happen the entire time we're growing up, but I think we look at them as isolated incidents. In my young life, with each challenge or disappointment, I would say to myself, "Just get through this and you'll have smooth sailing for a while."  And with every fiber of my being, I believed when a rash of bad things would happen, that I was all set for a while -- life would hold nothing but positive events for a stretch; I had paid my dues.

I'd like to say at forty-four, I've finally realized, there's no definitive line; no ALL good for a while. Good and bad are stitched together to create each day. It's impossible to get through a day without both. For each little annoyance or struggle, there are joyous moments. Some days the balance is tipped one way or the other, but I find that I am extra attentive to the peaceful, happy minutes. I find myself standing still and watching a delicate bird on the feeder and marvel at the detail in her feathers. I'll turn the TV off to listen to the lullaby of steady rain (currently) and the frogs singing their tune.

Those of us that have been pushed to our limits and have uttered in frustration, "Why me? I've tried to live right and be a good person" eventually figure out that it has nothing to do with the kind of person we are. It has everything to do with opening our eyes in the morning, stepping out of bed, and being part of this world. With experience comes wisdom and on the other side of the bad is a good that's richer, deeper and more serene. 

In the last two years, I have grown and matured beyond measure. My resolve and appreciation for every minute has deepened and I am outwardly grateful many, many times a day. I log my multitude of daily prayers in my journal and know that I am heard, and that with each trial comes a blessing. I thought I knew myself and my limits until last year with the death of my husband and my beloved Barney, but I had no idea. Out of the pain came a healing of spirit and an appreciation for being middle-aged and more settled in my soul.

 

Mercury Retrograde -- Yeah, that's it!

I sit here on this sticky, hell-fire afternoon (couldn't think of any description that's hot enough!!) and have finally calmed down from weeks of technology melt-down. According to one of my yoga instructors, it's because Mercury is retrograde! Well -- THAT explains it!


"Three times a year for about three weeks, the planet Mercury goes retrograde so it looks like it's moving backwards-but it's just an illusion. This round of retrograding ends on July 2, so what's the deal? Astrologer Eileen McCabe explains:

1) Mercury is the planet of communication. Mercury (another name for Hermes the messenger god) linked people together by delivering messages. This period of time involves making connections.

2) But connections aren't happening as smoothly. You might miss a phone call, the bus or train. There are going to be some life glitches."
 
Miss a phone call? How about the entire house imploding on technology -- modem, land-line phone and cable box all decided to quit (spent last Saturday waiting for cable guy), cell phone went to black and now refuses to allow yahoo email anymore (even cell phone guy doesn't know why) and my brand new laptop was full of viruses right out of the box. Silly me, thought I could fix it, and it pretended to work for a day or two until today, when it decided to lock up and shut down the household internet again. Ugh!


Therefore, rather than risk any more high-blood pressure, hammer-smashing laptop daydreams, I will wait until July 3rd when Mercury decides to move forward, to attempt to buy a new computer (again). Me and my old, trusty Toshiba are limping along just fine -- today anyway.
 
Which leads me to one of the points of this blog -- after I pitched a childish fit when my new laptop locked up this morning and Allan decided he needed to vacate the house and go to work, it hit me how ridiculous it is to become an ugly, swearing fool over technology. I was ashamed; felt like an idiot. Me, the person who has grown to realize the true importance of our days, let a computer ruin what had been a really peaceful morning.


Shortly after my meltdown, I had to get to an appointment, which was probably the best thing that could've happened at that moment. As I was driving with the AC on 'hurricane' (thank you Willis Carrier for HVAC), and Coffee House on the radio, I calmed down and took in the scenery -- palms blowing in the breeze, osprey soaring overhead, primary-colored flowers in bloom along the roadside. Stress slinked away. I decided I would return the insolent laptop, hopefully without much ado (beyond the inconvenience and time already spent). Problem now solved.


We are so burdened by our "advanced" lifestyle that the millions of tiny miracles happening every moment are overlooked. I should be happy to have a day or two without the albatross that has become our way of life, yet without it, I can't do my job. I guess the lesson here is to continue to find BALANCE. By definition, "mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc." Yoga, wine, friends, reading, walks, church, faith...whatever it is that helps us take a deep breath in this crazy world we live in, just do it (think Nike minds?)!


While composing this blog, I've been getting a pop-up message from BlogSpot (I think it's Mercury's little joke right about now) "An error occurred while trying to save or publish your post. Please try again." Really? As Allan is so fond of saying, at the most inappropriate moments, "It could be worse!"